Sexual-Family Layers

Immediately under the surface of the episode, we find the familial and sexual layers. Presidents, Generals, millionaires, diplomats, peasants, recruits, movie actors, tax advisors or NGO workers, all have built their own primordial matrix that is shaped in their family of origin. Their family of origin, whether by blood or not, has significantly made them into the person that each of them is and has formed the patterns they follow. Equally, they are all sexual beings with drives, appetites, desires and satisfaction patterns.

Furthermore, in this layer lies a bigger potential for creativity, instinct, sensitivity and the need to adapt to prevailing norms.  Most of the potential for explosion and transformation to be found at this first layer lies here.

In line with the principle of resonance and in order to find out whether there is a dynamic equilibrium or a blockage in this layer, it is highly important that the elicitive conflict worker communicates authentically selective and behaves as natural and authentic as possible with the parties to the conflict. As a third party, also as someone that has arrived ‘late’ to the conflict, he/she needs to be open and clear in order to gain a sense of the vibrations of the parties in this layer. If on the basis of his/her socialization, education or religion, or based on the professional understanding or social restraints, the conflict worker is inhibited to open him/herself enough, he/she might not receive the appropriate communication from the parties. Once more in line with the principle of resonance this also is the reason why it is crucial to develop a special expertise, openness, empathy, sensitivity and risk awareness in all layers. This requires self-reflection on the side of the elicitive worker, so that part of his/her training ought to include a conscious and natural handling of the own self, the ego and, above all, one’s own shadow aspects. 

While the sexual-family layer and its aspects might not be the most relevant one in a particular conflict, it always is present in any and all conflicts and, therefore, it is always present in conflict work. As the episode is in immediate contact with this layer, the elicitive worker counts on the intrapersonal sexual layer and the interpersonal family layers simultaneously influencing the material conflict happenings. As mentioned already, there is as much potential for destruction as for transformation in this field of tensions. Henceforth, while the normal case is that the parties deal with these issues in an unconscious manner and alone, elicitive work can – when needed – create a framework in which the parties together can dissolve the blockages.