Active Listening
Closely related to NVC, active listening is a further fundamental mechanism for elicitive conflict work.
Active listening refers to a kind of listening that is not simply limited to hearing. The listener empties his or her mind and listens with his or her entire being. This means that prejudices, scientific theories, intellectual understanding, and even pity are obstacles to active listening. Active listening is not about doing, understanding, choosing, or repairing something, it is simple presence with all of one’s attention and senses.
In order to unpack this type of communication in more detail, we take the main insights from Carl Rogers, whose groundbreaking work in client-centered therapy has made him an important figure in peace studies and conflict transformation. For Rogers (Rogers and Farson, 1987), active listening basically entails that we get inside the speaker, that we grasp from his/her point of view what he/she is communicating to us:
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Listen for total meaning: besides listening to the content of the message, we try to understand the attitude or feeling underlying the content.
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Respond to feelings: frequently, the feeling or attitude underlying the content of the message is more important than the content. Remain sensitive and respond particularly to the feeling component. What is the speaker trying to tell me? What does this mean to him/her? How does the speaker see the situation?
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Note all cues: Pay special attention to other forms of communication besides the verbal. The volume and inflection of the voice are relevant, and so are the speaker’s facial expressions, body posture, and hand and eye movements, just like his/her breathing.
